Thoughts from a Recent Talk (Part 1)

Holiness and Community

Recently, I was asked to participate in a women’s mini-conference along side of my friend (and neighbor), Tara.  The topic was on pursuing holiness and community.  Truth be told, when I received the invitation I was in a place of grieving relationships close to me where the opposite seemed to be true.  Naturally, my heart ignited with the idea of digging deeper into this topic for personal edification and sanctification.  The burden of preparing talks on holiness coupled with the opportunity to spend time with a friend whom I admire greatly though rarely see prompted my immediate acceptance.

Not surprisingly, the weeks between accepting and the actual event were busier than our normal busy pace of life.  The battle between finding time to prepare and accomplishing the daily responsibilities of our lives was in full swing.  As I wrestled with my own perfectionistic tendencies and pride, I longed for things to come together according to my plan.  My soul craved the Spirit’s work in my heart yet according to the timeline I needed it to be accomplished.  I knew I needed the Lord to work his truth deeply within me before I could attempt to exhort others to walk accordingly.  Earnestly and daily I prayed, “Teach me your ways and help me to walk in them.” (Psalm 86:11)

As I explored the themes of holiness and community throughout the books of the Old and New Testament, I was repeatedly drawn to the book of Ephesians.  What was it that drew me to Paul’s word to the Church in Ephesus pertaining to this issue?  Two reasons: culture and community.  Culturally, much of what the culture valued or propagated in Ephesus mirrors the ideas glorified today throughout our society.  It was a materialistic, hedonistic, sexually immoral, and idolatrous culture.  Our western culture glorifies the pursuit of pleasure, the philosophy of do what feels good, and the idea of individualistic relative truth.  The community of faith in Ephesus wrestled with this familiar theme of being in the world but not being of it.  Paul wrote to the Church of Ephesus to encourage the Body of Christ by reminding them who they were and how they were to live in light of this reality.  I find this very relevant to us today.  Identity and purpose are foundational concepts to understand.  Their story is our story.  I hope their faith journey will encourage you as it encourages me today.

Remember WHO you are

When Tony and I were engaged we were living in two different states.  The few times we were physically in the same location we had to work hard to establish boundaries to keep our hands off each other.  We wanted to honor God and each other by pursuing holiness through sexual purity.  The month before we were married, we traveled up to spend Thanksgiving with his parents in Kentucky.  Tony traveled up from New Orleans and I over from the Raleigh area.  Before his parents retired to bed, Tony’s mom would peek her head in to say goodnight with these words, “Remember who you are.”   That reminder had a sobering effect.  Remember who you are. 

Paul spends the first three chapters largely encouraging the Ephesians to remember who they were.  Their identity had changed. They were no longer dead in their sin (2:1).  They were no longer separated, alienated, hopeless, or godless (2:11).  They were now alive in Christ (2:5).  They were chosen to be holy and blameless as adopted children (1:4-5).  Another Pauline text details this reality by stating this was a part of God’s plan.  God sent his Son so that we might receive adoption, that we would not longer be slaves but children and heirs of the kingdom (Galatians 4:4-7). 

My continual grasp to comprehend this glorious doctrine of adoption has largely been helped by our own adoption experience.  Our five children reflect the grace of God to us.  There is one particular story that comes to mind. 

One afternoon I received a call from the school explaining an incident that had occurred involving our oldest son, James.  In common middle school boy fashion, he had walked past a classmate and playfully closed the laptop he was working on.  Unfortunately, this impulsive action had been rougher than anticipated.  When the classmate reopened his computer, the screen was shattered and it no longer functioned.  The consequence of this regretful action was to pay for a replacement. 

The next afternoon we received a call sharing that another classmate’s money had gone missing.  All the evidence pointed to our son as the culprit.  After much deliberating and beseeching, James maintained innocence.  It was a difficult day in our household.  The following morning 30-minute commute was almost completely without words.  About 10 minutes from our arrival, James uttered the following words.  “Mom, I took the money.  I knew I needed to pay for the computer so I stole the money.  I’m sorry.” 

Let me pause this story for a moment in order to offer my own confession.  I have never known anger as I have as a parent.  Parenting is tough.  Parenting is sanctifying.  Parenting requires grace.  The Lord in his kindness gave much grace in that moment to respond in a way that only he could empower.  Let’s be real, my flesh wanted vindication.  However, before I knew it these words came out of my mouth, “James, those behaviors are a part of your past.  The needs to steal and fend for your self are old habits from growing up in an orphanage.  They are a part of you, but they are not who you are.  You are no longer an orphan.  You are my son!”    

Friend, if you are in Christ, your identity has changed.  You are no longer an orphan or a slave to sin.  You are a child of the Most High King!  We are sons and daughters and our identity matters.  Remember who you are!

To Be Continued...